


Shrike

by majestaekim



Series: Immortality In Love [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Andy | Andromache of Scythia Regains Immortality, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Nile Freeman, But Can We Blame Her? No. We Cannot., Canon Character of Color, Canon Gay Relationship, Established Relationship, F/F, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Immortal Wives Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Kidnapping, M/M, Nile Has A Crush on Andy, Panic Attacks, Post-Movie: The Old Guard (2020), Protective Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Protective Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Recovery, Rescue Missions, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:53:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26108251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majestaekim/pseuds/majestaekim
Summary: Nicólo and Yusuf always do everything in their power so that their hideouts and secret places have at least a breath ofhome.When Nile understands why, she returns the favor.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Immortality In Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895632
Comments: 20
Kudos: 195





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, fellow TOG enthusiasts! This is my first work in the fandom so please, be nice with your criticism. I appreciate and look forward to all and any comments, I also really wanna be friends and cry about this beautiful family, so follow me if you want.
> 
> [Tumblr](https://schatzlehnsherr.tumblr.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/majestaekim)
> 
> This work will be part of a series since I know this will definitely NOT be the last time I write about my Immortal Husbands (or my Immortal Wives, for the matter). I genuinely hope you guys enjoy this and if you do, please don't forget to give this love.
> 
> **Comments, kudos and sharing an artist's work is the biggest motivation ever for us!**

I WAS HOUSED BY YOUR WARMTH, THUS TRANSFORMED  
BY YOUR GROUNDED AND GIVING AND DARKENING SCORN,  
REMEMBER ME, LOVE, WHEN I’M REBORN,  
AS THE SHRIKE TO YOUR SHARP AND GLORIOUS THORN.  
\- Hozier

* * *

Location: Érd, Hungary  
Time: 2020, December   
  


It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, once December arrives, it’s as if the air itself turns to gold and red, painting the streets in Christmas carols.

Personally, Joe likes it.

Even though the holiday itself makes no sense in his mind — how do Christians get away with celebrating a birthday on the wrong date is beyond him, honestly — the colors and the air are still nicer than the average.

People become gentler, answer their greetings when they pass by, most of them hold a private smile on their faces as if they’re thinking about someone or something that brings them joy.

It’s wonderful.

Six months after the events in London and after spending four of those months alone, each of them separated in a corner of the planet not to draw attention, it’s the best feeling possible to have the family reunited.

Andromache had kept them in touch as she always did. Nile had gone with her to start her training while Nicky and Joe went off to Malta to feel _free_ , needing it more than ever. The fear of being captured lives too bright, too intense in their subconscious, always rearing its ugly head between dreams and nightmares. Being captured only makes it worse.

It had been years since one of them went through that and while Joe and Nicky are thankful that they were at least together, knowing that being separated would’ve been thousands, millions of times worse, they still wake up in a cold sweat for weeks.

When all of them get together in Budapest after Copley calls with news, it’s better than any Christmas spirit. Being in the same room as Nile and Andromache is healing, comforting.

Joe hugs Nile tighter than ever before, appreciates the smile on her face and how much better she looks after the hide-out months. He asks about the training, wanting to know if Andy’s been going too hard on her, but Nile shakes her head fondly, a dreamy smile on her.

“She’s getting old,” Nile teases.

Immediately, she looks up to Andy after making said joke, only to see the older woman smiling back with a fake unimpressed look. The smile hiding in the corner of her lips doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone.

Nicky fusses over both women. He tells Andromache that she’s never allowed to be so far away from him for so long ever again and he laughs wholeheartedly at Nile’s tales of what training under a six thousand-year-old woman is like.

Joe watches them, observes his family with his heart beating loud enough inside his chest that he can hear it, loving to have them all together in the same table. He knows how much Nicólo hurt the first month they were all hiding, worrying silently about Andy’s state.

Learning that her Immortality was still intact made them all breathe easier.

Their hide-out isn’t in Budapest, precisely. They stay in Érd, a city near Budapest which has an old cabin in the woods that once belonged to Booker. Joe and Nicky are the first to arrive, as always, and as a habit, they separate and start the task of making the cabin appropriate.

Initially, they plant their weapons throughout the house, ensuring that there’s something within reach in each room. After that’s done, Joe installs the security channel to block any signal coming and going from the cabin and while he works on that, Nicky opens some of the windows to let the air inside.

When security is taken care of, the next step is the cabin itself.

Nicky lights incense and walks through the house holding them, incense in one hand and disposable phone in the other.

Joe finds that the scent _he_ likes to spread is the food one, so he starts making some kimbap while his husband cleanses the air.

By the time Andy and Nile arrive, the house smells of food, vanilla essence, and something that Nile slowly will start to associate with _home_.

  
  


▽

  
  


The news Copley wanted to share were simple, but annoying: They were receiving threats.

Well, technically, _Andy_ was getting threats, but a threat to one is a threat to all.

There really was no peace in living.

All of his information checks out. The four of them sit around a table while Copley gives them the files he had prepared, showing them the pictures of the parchments where the poems were written, the white blank envelopes in which they came in.

Copley talks for an hour, explaining the long and arduous process he went through to locate the source of one of the letters.

He’s still squirmy and very much intimidated in their presence, Joe notices. _Good_ , he thinks to himself with a smile. _He needs it_. If there’s one thing Joe is certain, just like there is no peace amongst the living and that love is always the answer, that actions have consequences.

Very rarely do people suffer them, which is where the problem lies. It’s through consequences that one has the time to learn and reflect upon their mistakes.

It’s why missing Booker hurts, but not enough to forgive yet. His absence is part of the consequences of his actions and with time, maybe he will learn and understand the errors of the path he chose.

Joe tunes out for a few seconds from Copley’s talk, but he understands the basics: a gala party where the culprit of said threats is certain to attend, all of them going undercover to reach the vault and get the fingerprints from the Czar who captured all the teenage girls and leave very soon. Anything he hasn’t heard, he can get it from Nicky later.

A simple and compact mission. Two shots hitting one target at the same time, just like Joe likes it.

A perfect way to start Nile’s active training.

They all nod in understanding. Joe and Andy stay at the table for a couple more hours to study the mansion’s layout, plan the entries and possible exits, plan B, C or D if anything goes wrong.

All in all, it takes one day to plan the mission, which will take only hours to execute.

“Remind me again why can’t we _kill_ the person who’s sending us these threats?” Nile asks them while she puts on her dress.

“Because threats are just the smoke,” Andy answers. She’s opted for a suit for the night.

“Which means that we need to know the reason,” Nicky clarifies, handing Nile a knife for her to slip under her gown. “First, they talk. Then, if needed, they die.”

Nile nods satisfied.

Joe is only a tad bit distracted because—god.

Good God, how Nicólo looks dashing in a suit. His husband, the love of his life, the only man he has ever worshipped—a vision. Yusuf doesn’t get distracted easily, but the sight of Nicólo in a bear and a three-piece suit is enough to make his mouth run dry and water at the same time.

He knows he’s staring, but can’t bring himself to care. He’s sometimes struck by the sheer beauty that is Nicólo—the sharp edge of his jawline, the depths of his sea-blue eyes.

“What he said,” he offers when he feels Nile and Andy’s eyes on him. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Nicólo.

His love doesn’t miss the burning fire in his eyes, either. When Nicky looks up at him, stuffing his pants with a few daggers that can go hidden, he seems taken aback for a second by the look he finds, but one heartbeat later, he winks.

Hot and wonderful bastard.

“Everyone has the second and third hide-out options coordinates memorized?” Andy asks. When they all nod, she sighs. “Good. We should get going, it’s harder to go unnoticed in these shitty events if we arrive fashionably late.”

A suggestion from Andy is as good as a direct command, so everyone is on their feet and moving.

They leave for Budapest with one mission on their minds. Their van is filled with mindless conversation, occasionally intercalated with tips for Nile about missions and Nicky offering intel on the guests so they have the upper hand.

Later, when it all goes down to hell, Joe will remember clearly what he said about the Czar.

A ‘plus one’ never looked so familiar.

  
  


▽

  
  


The party is an extravagant excuse to flaunt military fundings and more.

Nile does her job perfectly. The fingerprints are retrieved and secured, the data is sent and she’s done before either of them can start with their own tasks. Joe sees in the way she _glows_ under Andy’s appreciative and proud smile that she’s proud of herself.

Also, slightly infatuated. He’s happy for the first feeling and can’t blame her for the second. Andromache is a presence and every one of her Immortal companions found scattered through the Earth over the years have been there. Even Joe and Nicky themselves went through such a phase, even if for a blink of an eye.

It’ll pass, he thinks. If it doesn’t—well, they’re both vaccinated and grown women.

It was all going down just as planned, which is why when it all goes to shit, Joe feels the crippling feeling of being very fucking pissed off take over him.

He doesn’t allow it to cloud his judgment or stray him from his mission, but it’s there. All the training, the praying, and the infinite work on his patience never fail him—he’s an excellent team member and would never let anything take his focus away from his mission.

There’s certainty and precision to his every move.

He keeps his eye on the ball — and on his husband — and soon, he finds the source. The same envelopes that were on his files a day earlier lay there, on top of the Czar’s table, all scattered in a perfectly symmetrical distribution.

One second, he’s smiling, happy to know that they were right to be there.

Next, he hears Nicky’s voice in his earpiece, and his heart freezes inside his chest.

“ _Yusuf. It’s Noriko._ ”

His initial response is shock.

It can’t be. It couldn’t be her, Quynh can’t be in the same place as them, dressed up and dolled up for the same party. It could never be her because Quynh is suffering, dying over and over again due to their failure.

“ _It’s her. I think_ —Porca miseria. Cazzo _, Andy is leaving, Joe. We must go._ ”

It only gets messier after that.

Joe has to fight security to get out of the office, Nile gets stopped by one of the Sargents and Joe can hear through the intercom that he says she looks familiar, which is probably one of the few things that could’ve taken her by surprise and made her stutter her way to answer.

He wants to help, but he’s otherwise occupied.

Nicólo’s distressed voice only adds to Joe’s concern and he makes up the words ‘I think Quynh shot her’ between punches and blows, but he can’t answer.

It’s only after he incapacitates and knocks out every one of the bodies, hiding them messily in the closet to gain them some extra time, that he realizes that it’s _true_.

Noriko, _their Quynh_ is back.

She’s found a way out of the sea or someone did it for her and then, making his way back to his family so they can all find Andy and come back, he recalls Nile’s words sharply. Each one feels like a knife to his heart that he can’t remove himself, wounds that become permanent in his immortal body.

 _She feels crazy_.

Whether she’s found her way back or someone else did, it doesn’t matter.

It wasn’t any of them who rescued her from darkness, and now she wants to envelop them to have a taste of it.

  
  
  


▽

  
  
  


Andy is hurt.

Nicky and Joe had discussed in detail why her body is starting to act that way, but after Quynh meets her in the backyard of the mansion and answers her trembled and desperate call with a shot, their theory is proven right.

Her emotions are directly tied to her healing. Her immortality is still intact, but the same way that her wounds wouldn’t heal when she was tired and ready to give up at the beginning of the year, they don’t immediately do that day.

The drive back to their cabin is gruesome because it’s not often that you see Andy hurt, and even more rare is to see her _cry_.

“It was her,” she says with a distant voice, while Nile cleans her wound with speed and tells her to stay still. “Quynh. I… I saw her. She was—she just stood there. I called her name and she looked back at me and she…”

“Shot you,” Nile adds with anger. “You know, I’m really glad she’s out of the sea and all, and I’m _stoked_ that she’s still alive and immortal because when I meet her, I’m retributing the favor,” she comments with a dry tone.

“Why would she do this? Why wouldn’t she come to us?” Nicky asks from the passenger seat. He has blood on his forehead and his hands from helping Andy out of the party, but it’s his eyes that look the worst.

There’s a storm going on inside of him. He’s known Nicólo long enough to know that means he’s hurting. His eyes turn a darker shade of blue whenever his thoughts race and he can’t comprehend something, when whatever’s presented at him is too cruel or makes no sense in his mind.

Noriko being alive and not being with _them_ falls under the latter.

Joe drives with his eyes sharp on the road and shakes his head, like he had done so many times that night. 

“Because… because we failed her,” Andy concludes.

The van falls in silence at that, then all they can hear is Andy’s cries.

A sob rips out from her chest like it fought its way through—Joe looks through the rear mirror and sees Andy clasping a hand over her mouth like she hadn’t expected that either, but it’s useless.

Some tears have the power to heal the soul, some to ease the mind and some, to break dem.

Andy’s body curls on itself and although he knows it’s impossible, Joe wonders if the pain he’s feeling isn’t just his own. He imagines that must be the case, considering he isn’t the only one hurting in the van.

When Andy’s sobs become loud and clear, passing by even despite her attempt to keep them in, Joe looks just one more time to the back and through the mirror, he sees Nile’s pained expression before the girl surges forward and wraps herself around Andy.

It must do for Andromache the same that Nicky’s hand on top of his on the steering wheel does. A grounding presence, a touch that says ‘it’s okay to feel everything that you’re feeling right now’.

For Joe, that means silently wiping his own tears as he tries his best to keep his eyes on the road. For Andy, it means that she can cry, through loud and painful sobs that wreck her body, yelling in Nile’s shoulder all the pain she must’ve bottled up.

He drives with a knot on his throat, a desire to break down himself, but not only because he missed Quynh. It hurts to hear the pain in each of Andy’s denied whispers, it feels like daggers in his chest every time he hears Nile comfort her.

“It’s okay, you can cry, Andy. It’s okay, we’ll figure it out.” The girl’s golden heart is like salvia on a fresh wound. Joe attunes himself to Nile’s reassuring words, even if they aren’t spoken to him. “You’re okay, Andy. You’re okay.”

The second part seems like a reassuring both for Andy  _ and _ Nile.

No one speaks when they unload the van and get back inside the cabin.

Technically, the mission was a success.

The person behind the notes was discovered and the Czar’s fingerprints are safely stored in Copley’s database by now. They did everything they needed and in their first mission as a group, they succeeded.

In the future, Joe knows he’ll appreciate the poetics of this more.

It means something, knowing that all of them work as a perfectly oiled machine when together. Nile’s training hard and intense six months of training had definitely paid off because even in distress and caught off hard, she managed to wring herself out of her situation.

The cabin still feels like a memorial.

“Andy, you need stitches,” Nicky says, breaking the silence.

“No, I don’t. It’s fine. I can feel it closing, I think. I’m just old, Nicky. It’s fine,” she repeats, cleaning her face in her suit’s sleeve.

“At least let me remake the bandages,” Joe asks her. She watches all three of them giving her hopeful looks, so she nods.

“Good, I’ll make dinner while you two do that,” Nicky states.

“I’ll help,” Nile adds. She gets up to follow Nicky, but pauses to give Andy one last look. “Tell me—us, tell us if you need anything, please?” she asks.

Andy nods at her, smiling fondly through her tear-stained face.

When they’re both in the kitchen, Joe and Andy take one second to breathe. When their eyes lock, Andy shakes her head.

“Mission recap?” she asks him. He hears the implied ‘can we talk about anything else, please’ that she leaves between each letter.

Joe was never one to deny Andy anything, so he nods. She sits in the bed and waits for him to return with the first-aid kit that he’s learned to keep it around at all times, just in case.

Working on her wound as he talks about his side of the mission, Joe doesn’t even register the words he’s saying. After cleaning her wound methodically for the second time, he sees that bandages won’t be needed because Andy was right, she’s already healing, but he still places a bandage on top of the nearly-closed wound anyway.

Taking care of her grounds him. She must know it because she lets him do it without interruption.

When she recaps her own side, her words slowly fade out at the point where she met Quynh.

He doesn’t prod or asks again. Instead, Joe feels his own lips trembling as he looks at her and without a word, they’re hugging each other as if their lives depend on it.

Safe and surrounded by Andy’s arms, Yusuf cries.

“She’s—Andromache, she’s  _ here _ ,” he speaks in Arabic. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry we couldn’t find her. I’m sorry you had to go all these years without her, I know we did everything we could, we did everything in our power, but it wasn’t enough,” he sobs, slipping back to his mother tongue without realizing.

“It wasn’t our fault, Yusuf. It was not,” she cries back at him, speaking to him in the same language. “I’ve had so many years to drown in the same pain, to taste the sea salt in her tongue as if it was my own, to carry the weight of her chains as if they were around my own hands and feet, but I can’t—I can’t do it. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Then don’t. Don’t. You’re right, it was not our fault, but she—Andromache, does she  _ really _ think it was?”

He feels Andy shaking her head against his neck, without replying.

Although neither of them says it, they both hear Nile speaking the cursed words one more time.  _ She feels crazy. _

“I don’t know why. Maybe… maybe the mind takes longer to heal, right?” she asks him, untangling her limbs from his to wipe her eyes and nose. “It can’t be easy. None of us understand what she went through. We  _ felt _ it, we temporarily  _ knew _ , but we can’t even begin to understand it.”

Joe wipes his face too, taking in Andy’s words.

She’s right. Although the pain is something they could empathize with and has even felt at certain moments, neither of them had gone through capture.

Noriko’s mind was far off in the ocean, most likely. Her body had found its way to the shore, but who was to say that she knew that with everything in her—body and mind?

He nods, understanding what she means.

“We have to… find her,” he says, choosing his words carefully, slipping back to English.  _ Capture _ her almost sounds like an offense.

Andy nods as well.

“She won’t come easily.”

“Oh, given her greetings to you, I can fucking imagine,” he comments drily.

When they look at each other once again, Andy snickers. Then, as if noticing the absurdity of the situation, she starts laughing.

(Hello, love of my life, who I once lived my every day with. Hello, my Sun, who brightened my nights and brought light into my darkest moments, how I have missed you. Oh, how my days have not been the same. How I have missed the curl of your smile, the words that lie on the kiss hidden on the corner of your mouth. How I have missed you—alive, breathing, near me, your soul, your body, your words. How I have drowned each day, for a different reason—drowned without you, drowned in my loss of you. Oh, my love, how I have missed sharing the battlefield with your sharp eyes and your sharper blades, how the world has lost its color without the warmth of your smile that shines in orange and yellow hues.  _ Have you missed me? _

_ A gunshot. _

Is that a no?)

Joe, upon seeing the disbelief and the humorless laugh, can’t help but laugh too.

Every now and then, between the second where he and Nicky had found Andromache in London without Noriko and now, he has tried to picture the opposite. If it was Nicky, instead of her.

That’s how he knows that Andromache is stronger than he could ever dream to be. He tries to picture the other way around and for the split second he does, the pain is too much to bear.

“C’mon, let’s give Copley a run-over before we have a meal,” she says.

He gathers the medical aid and neatly puts everything back in its proper place before joining Andy in the living room to make a video call with Copley. The quality isn’t the best because it’s a heavily encrypted call, but they make all their points and tell him everything he needs to know.

Copley’s smart enough to contain his excitement or fear upon hearing the news of Quynh’s return. Once Andy is finished, he simply asks what she’ll do.

“I’ll figure it out,” Andy answers him with a blank look.

He knows better than to ask further questions.

After that, they both go to the kitchen where they hear dinner being served already. Andy sits down at the table, so Joe goes to the main room of the cabin to prepare everyone’s beds. 

They had brought everything they needed earlier, so he puts on the recently washed blankets and new sheets on the beds, making it as comfortable as possible for when they get their rest.

“Joe, come eat!” Nicky yells from the kitchen.

“Coming!”

Once he deems the room ready, he goes around the Cabin making sure every entry, exit and safety measure are still intact and then makes his way to the kitchen.

Joe walks behind his husband, sliding his arm around Nicky’s waist and burying his nose in his hair for just one second. 

“It smells delicious,  _ habibi, _ ” he says to Nicky. “Thank you.”

“Tastes even better,” Andy comments, already stuffing her face with her own plate. She winks in Nile’s direction. “Thanks.”

They all sit around the table and eat discussing the day’s events.

Nile, as usual, asks her questions during dinner.

Joe noticed how she gets more talkative with food in her belly and when she’s sitting at a table with everyone. He knows why.

Instead of going through the route of wondering what nefarious plans does Quynh has, she asks the perfect question.

“What was she like?” Nile asks, curious.

Her eyes are wandering and locked in Andy’s, wanting to know anything the woman will offer.

Slowly, stories about Quynh start to unfold.

Andy speaks of her as Joe speaks of Nicky, for it’s impossible for her to do otherwise. She talks of Quynh like a poet talks of their muse, like an artist looks at a model lying in front of them as they draw—how a lover does.

Nile nods appreciatively, listening intently to every word, a smile growing on her face slowly, as Andy starts to smile too looking back on the memories. When Nicky joins with his own tales and Joe offers what he remembers, Nile and Andy are already laughing, delighted with the ghostly presence of what was Noriko.

They speak of her because that’s what family does. Noriko wasn’t the threats she’s making or whatever is left of her torture inside of her.

She’s the fire that fuels entire worlds, she’s the sassy and charming smile of a woman who has always known what she wants and how to get it. She’s the storm to Andromache’s calm, and that’s the woman they all make Nile get to know during dinner.

After they’re done, Nile washes their dishes while they go shower.

He had thought they’d need a moment after today, but when they walk inside to wash away the blood and whatever is left of the mission, all they need is their touch.

They finish quickly, not too fond of a cold shower, and then slip in comfortable clothes. Andy is done with hers as well and they all sit in the bedroom together, waiting for Nile to join them.

Once everyone is clean and safe inside the room, Joe feels better.

Nile sits on her bed and looks up at the ceiling, then, noticing the ornaments that Nicky had brought with him and hung on the ceiling, she frowns.

“I saw those once. Are those yours?” she asks Nicky.

“Yes, they’re mine. I bring some things with me wherever I go, if I can,” he explains to her.

She hums slowly, tilting her head and continuing to look at them.

“I saw some of them around the cabin, right?”

“Some of them were already here, but yeah, we already spread everything around when we first got here,” Joe affirms.

“Is that why you two always arrive first somewhere? To decorate?” she teases.

“It is, actually,” he laughs at her.

“I remember now… the place outside of Paris that we went to, I was thinking about how everything there looked decorated but didn’t smell like old stuff or, you know, like shit that you keep in the closet, and I thought it was weird for a second.” She laughs a little and turns to them. “Turns out you guys just bring all your shit in a suitcase, huh?”

Andy scoffs from her place on her bed, sitting against the headboard with a book on her hands.

“If they took all their shit in a suitcase we’d need a  _ lot _ of suitcases,” she teases.

“We’re not that bad,” Nicky defends them, smiling at the women.

Andy lifts one eyebrow at him.

“Fine, we’re a little bad,” Joe admits, raising his hands in defeat. “We’ll keep all our shit to ourselves next time, see how you girls like that.”

“Nah, don’t, I like the ornaments and stuff. It’s nice,” Nile smiles.

“You really need to learn what behaviors you encourage and which ones you don’t, baby,” Andy comments without looking up from her page.

Joe watches the flustered look take over Nile’s face, then the way she shakes her head. “I see no harm in a little decor here and there,” she says in a final tone.

Andy simply chuckles, but Nicky turns to him with a sweet smile.

“She likes our decor,” he repeats to Joe, smile widening.

“Always knew she had taste,” Joe smiles back.

They bicker and talk for at least an hour after that, unable to close their eyes and sleep. Andy tells them to get rest while they can — as she always does — because she’ll keep watch, promising Nicky that she’ll get her own rest when they all get theirs.

Eventually, Nile blacks out on her bed and Nicky’s eyes start dropping, the soft and reassuring movement of his hand on Joe’s forearm slowing down more and more. Joe lays there with his head supported on his hand, looking at the man he loves as he drifts off to sleep.

He traces the line on Nicky’s face with the tip of his fingers and that’s all it takes for him to be out—gentle touches from Yusuf are Nicólo’s biggest medicine.

He keeps his eyes open for as long as he can, watching Andy as well, seeing if she needs him, if she needs to say anything else or a shoulder to talk to, since it’s already been cried on. When he looks up at her one more time, he sees she’s already looking at him fondly, smiling so peacefully and lovingly that he smiles back as he too drifts off to sleep.

Before he’s out, the last thing he sees is his family, all tucked in in their beds and blankets, safely and comfortably laying together.

_ Home _ .


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the fabric of Everything, there isn’t such a thing as time.
> 
> Nile discovers that between waking and fading away, the light of the Sun or the Moon shining high upon her.
> 
> Everything becomes blue, ache and sorrow.
> 
> She drowns in more than just water — and she never imagined something like this could exist, wishing that you could die only in one way — and that’s where it hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! It took me a few days like I said it (I'm working on another story as well), but I've returned with the update!
> 
> This first plot will most likely have the four chapters I carefully planned out, but if you guys enjoy my writing and my stories, I might upload another one I wrote it down for Quynh and Andy themselves.
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy this one! **Be mindful to the tags added every chapter,** I don't want you guys reading anything that might be triggering. If you enjoy the chapter, _please leave a comment!_
> 
> [twitter ♡](https://twitter.com/majestaekim) | [tumblr ♡](https://schatzlehnsherr.tumblr.com/)

Location: Dolores, Argentina  
Time: 2021, September  
  


“Hope” is the thing with feathers  
That perches in the soul -  
And sings the tune without the words -  
And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the _Silver_ \- is heard -  
And sore must be the storm -  
That could abash the little Bird  
That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -  
And on the strangest Sea -  
Yet - never - in _Pain  
_It asked a crumb - of me.

**Emily Dickinson**

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

All of Nile’s crumbs are soaked and drowning.

At first, she can only smell and taste her own despair, salty and wet in the back of her throat. Her movements are contained to the maximum—she feels the ropes tightly wrapped around her torso, legs, her feet and hands. Whoever tied her up did a nasty and impossible job with it.

Impossible for her, of course. Untangling herself from the knots and twists that kept her in the same place wasn’t something within her reach, but she didn’t have the time to register that or dwell on it for too long.

When her surroundings started making more sense, coming together on top of the taste of sea and blood that still lingered in her mouth, Nile felt terrified for the first time since she was shot in the head by Andromache, a couple of years prior.

If she recalled correctly, that single headshot was the last time she felt _genuine fear_. Other than fear for someone else — Andy, oh how Nile felt frightened for her — there was no instance she could remember where she feared for herself.

Struggling against the ropes and looking around desperately, frantically, Nile recalls Nicky’s words on that first week together. She understands now why the fear of being captured is bigger than anything else.

Nile would do and give anything to hear Nicky’s soft and comforting words now instead of feeling soft waves starting to crash against her head. Her struggle turns into whimpers, which echo loudly in the cave that she appears to have been left at.

Given the acoustic, it’s a big place with an opening at the top center. It mustn’t be big since the Moonlight is barely streaming inside, but it’s enough to light up the stone walls as Nile does her best to adjust her eyesight to everything.

When she hears her voice for the first time, it’s to recite the same poem she has it memorized by now, in a low and soft whisper that resonates everywhere.

“ _Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops, at all…_ ”

Although they never exchanged words before, Nile recognizes the voice. She heard it once when Andy played a recording tape of yet another clue she left behind, sitting alone on their porch with a bottle of whiskey in her hand.

Quynh’s voice is melodic and ironically enough, Nile feels like her voice resembles the ocean.

“ _And sweetest in the Silver is heard and sore must be the storm that could abash the little Bird that kept so many warm._ ”

There’s enough condescending in her tone that it makes Nile want to puke.

Either that or the realization that Quynh has left her here after capturing her with nothing other than a poem and the knowledge that the tides will slide, get higher and higher. Alive.

Quynh has separated Nile from everyone to give her a taste of the torture she has undergone for centuries and while she listens to the poem, groaning and flailing against her ropes uselessly, Nile wants to scream at her that _it wasn’t her fault!_

It was no one’s fault.

Her tears find home in the salty water beneath her, mingling as one.

Her cries are subdued and her pathetic attempts at releasing herself only cause her to lose her breath faster, which brings her lungs capacity to a lower point right as the water starts hitting her eyes, covering half of her already.

Nile wants to do more than cry and scream, but it’s impossible.

The taste of salt seems to embed itself to the inside of her cheeks, clinging to her skin and she wonders if it’ll ever disappear.

If when — _if if if_ — someone eventually finds and rescues her, she’ll forget what the ocean tasted like.

Like bittersweet agony and despair. An eternal cry, ripped from every lover’s eyes as they watched the one get away to never return. An ocean of laments, sorrows and pain.

An ocean of Quynh, forever tattooed on the back of her throat.

“ _I’ve heard it in the chillest land and on the strangest Sea_ — _yet, never in Pain… it asked a crumb of me_.”

All of Nile’s crumbs are drowning and aching, overtaking her senses and everything that is her.

The dread of death, she learns, is worse than Death herself.

The moments which linger and drag for eternity right before the water level hits her nose and no struggling, tossing and turning can help, Nile cries the name of her new found family between childish sobs, wishing for the comfort of a distant memory that seems much further than simply a few days ago.

“ _Nhn,_ Andy…” she gurgles in between her last breaths.

Nile drowns in pain, loneliness and darkness.

She drowns screaming, her mind becoming a flash of hurt and _deja vus_. She fades into nothingness with her brain becoming scrambled, lost without the separation now of what belonged to Quynh and what now belongs to her.

Her taste of the ocean seems familiar, almost.

Like a distant, fading memory.

Of a death she suffered so many times, for so long, until not too long ago.

  
  
  


▽

  
  
  


In the fabric of Everything, there isn’t such a thing as time.

Nile discovers that between waking and fading away, the light of the Sun or the Moon shining high upon her.

Everything becomes blue, ache and sorrow.

She drowns in more than just water — and she never imagined something like this could exist, _wishing_ that you could die only in one way — and that’s where it hurts.

Quynh recorded herself saying Emily Dickinson’s poem and the record plays at least twice every day, Nile counts. It’s been two days only, but the pattern was easy to trace. Her voice, drawled and beautiful, delivering the words like the waves bring seashells onto the shore—she speaks softly and fluidly, tattooing the words into Nile’s mind.

She recognizes the lines of the poem after she repeats it to herself for what it must be the thousandth time. There’s something off about it, though, but her mind can’t form coherent thoughts for too long.

Exhaustion, hunger and dehydration make room for a nasty devil’s workshop. Like a plague, the hurt and the memories become the only thing that spread and continue, fighting through the tides and the black outs.

If Nile stays awake for longer than a few hours, she doesn’t recall, most likely blacking or spacing out between anxiety attacks that crawl up on her chest like claws.

Initially, she had looked down on herself with small gasps, legitimately wondering if a sea animal had found its way to her body. She looked down ready to fight for herself and shoo away whatever creature— the last thing she needed was an open wound on her chest, but there was nothing.

Her whimpers became louder and for the first time, Nile screamed.

It only worsened the pain in her chest and lungs.

Everything tasted like salt.

Nile screamed until it all felt hoarse and spent, until her vocal cords hurt so badly she couldn’t scream anymore even if she wanted to.

And she wanted to.

Tied up alone in a cave in the middle of nowhere, dying a dozen times a death that didn’t belong to her, relieving a fate who was thrown upon an innocent person then, Nile realizes why Quynh is such a gigantic, raging _bitch_.

As the tide grows and her time alive washes away, she swears to herself that whenever the do meet Quynh properly and all this insanity is left behind, when Quynh has put out of her system all the pent up rage and craziness that Nile _knows_ she’s entitled to, she’ll have to do it just once.

Nile is going to kill Quynh herself, at least once, just for the fucking pleasure of it.

Even if it’s a single headshot.

They can become the best of friends after _that_.

  
  
  


▽

Nicky is a really big fan of poetry.

From old guard artists such as Whitman, Keats, Plath and Sappho to new big minds of insane talent like Siken, Shire, Forche and Tretheway. Poetry was an intricate and melodic way of turning feelings into art—a sentiment immortalized in the rhymes of sonnets and free lines.

He loved reading it, sometimes even venturing into writing.

Interpreting it, however, proves to be a different thing.

A whole year after Quynh is found alive and shoots Andy — a very rude and unnecessary greeting, if Nicky has any say on it, but he still finds it in him to feel sorry for his longtime lost friend — they spend nearly a whole year in search of the woman. Again.

It proves to be easier this time because for once, they have Nile.

The new addition to the team couldn’t be a better fit. She’s the youth beam of sunshine on Andy’s life, restoring the old lady’s belief that they _do_ have a purpose, bringing the inside out of her shell once again, something that hasn’t happened in over two hundred years.

She balances Andromache’s stubborn and closed off behavior with lots of personal information about her and an open heart and mind. Whenever the four of them have a mission from Copley or believe they had found a clue regarding Quynh, she follows with heartfelt questions that bring so many good memories forth, tightening her bond with the group in a shorter notice than anyone before her.

Nile has the easy and disciplined intellect of someone who can keep up with Yusuf’s conversations about religion and society, indulging him in his questions of human evolution or spontaneous trips to the market to buy ingredients for baked goods.

She makes Yusuf laugh earnestly, which is more than Nicky could ever ask for.

The sight of the love of his life throwing his head back in laughter, telling jokes with his hands gesturing wildly or talking calmly as the sun sets, explaining what is _Ramadan_ to a curious and eager-to-learn Nile is a sight of God.

Nothing makes Nicolo happier than seeing the people he adores happy as well, laughing and _living_.

Searching for Quynh is easier this time because she _wants_ to be found. She leaves traces, daunting and giggling as she leads them through her path of crumbs in the forest.

This is why when Nile gets taken from under their noses, Nicolo needs to take deep breaths to calm the storming rage inside of him.

All of them gather in Mexico — the location where Nile is kidnapped — and try to contain themselves. They had just returned from a successful mission in Panamá and their hideout was supposed to be there, where they would lay low for a couple of weeks, but—.

Quynh happened.

Between a trip to the market and a mission report to Copley, Nicky gets his insides blown out _yet again_ just so he can be unconscious. When he snaps out of it and wakes up Nile is gone, Joe is hovering over him with the same concerned look he always has whenever Nicolo crosses the border between life and death and Andy is pacing around the house anxiously with a piece of paper in her hands.

“She left a poem,” Joe explains to him as he tries to make Nicky more comfortable in the chair. His voice is low and sad, his eyebrows creased in regret. For whom, Nicky can’t tell. “Nile is gone, _habibi_. Quynh took her,” he continues, confirming Nicky’s dread.

The poem is by Emily Dickinson and when Nicolo finally feels whole again, not just externally but internally as well, they all read it together.

It doesn’t take long for Joe and Andy to point out that there are two mistakes in the poem.

It takes a little longer for them to connect such points with a location, finally making peace with what has happened.

Nicky finds Andy sitting alone and staring at the piece of paper like it had offended her personally more than once in the span of the next few days, reading with her lips curled and her hands holding a bottle so tight he feared for a second it might explode in her hands.

Nicky sits by her side and offers his inputs in locations that could be led through ‘Silver’ and ‘Pain’, the only two alterations made in Emily’s poem.

They talk in hushed tones since Joe is finally asleep and Nicky opens a map in front of them, an old one with lots of city and state marks, nominating locations all over the world that could be of help.

Although she doesn’t say it, Nicky knows why the pain in Andy’s eyes are doubled. He feels it in her short and dry responses, the curt remarks she makes that are so hard on herself out of all people.

He knows Andromache misses Sebastian a little more than they do, which only furthers her anger.

He also knows Andy is thinking that Booker would have diminished the possible locations to at least a dozen by now, delivering them with a sheet of possible answers while snorting in his own glass of whiskey.

Nicky _hates_ that he misses those little details about Sebastian too, but the anger and the hurt of betrayal still sting sharp and loud.

Booker would have connected the dots faster than them, but Booker isn’t there and won’t be for a few decades, so Nicky gulps down his own pain in favor of helping.

“What if it’s not… Pain?” he asks Andy.

She removes her fingers from the bridge of her nose, where she was squeezing it tight for the past couple of minutes.

“What do you mean?” she asks, leaning forward on the chair and sipping her drink.

“Well, perhaps we’re looking at the word wrongly or taking it too literally,” he muses, mostly thinking out loud.

Nicky grabs the paper where Quynh had written the poem in perfect calligraphy, reading it once again despite having it memorized already.

“ _In the Silver is heard…_ ” he whispers, narrowing his eyes at the paper, then looking up at Andy. “Silver is the first place mentioned as a location. Then, it’s ‘in the chillest land and the strangest sea’. Is there anywhere that fits the description? Somewhere chill and strange, a Silver place?”

Andy narrows her eyes too, eyes fixed on the paper on Nicky’s hand, then rests back against her chair.

Lost in thought, she starts muttering the lines of poem 314 while looking straight ahead, taking sips of alcohol between each line. Nicky recognizes the look of concentration on Andromache's face and knows that she must be reckoning each river, waterfall or ocean that could relate to those lines.

He focuses too, feeling like he’s onto something.

If Silver gives them a lead, then Pain must point to the location.

When Nicky grabs another world map from one of his bags and opens it on the floor, he hears the sharp breath Andy takes and his gaze immediately goes back to her.

Putting the bottle down slowly, Andy looks at the map.

“Mar del Plata,” she whispers.

Argentina, Nicky thinks.

The cold and chill currents of the South Pole which turn the South Atlantic Ocean a dreadful and mysterious place, an abundance of deep and dark blue hues that can drown entire ship crews.

Both of them move fast, suddenly spiked with the discovery. Something in his instincts tell him that they’re right and while Andy is widening the world map on top of the table to find Argentina, he screams for his lover. “Joe! _Mi Amore_ , wake up. Come here!”

Andy points at Mar del Plata and both of them share a look, nodding in agreement. “Silver Sea,” she translates, eyeing the map of Argentina with hawk-like eyes. “Nicky, get me a map of South America,” she asks.

At the same time, Joe strides in rubbing his eyes sleepy, slowly coming to awareness. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” he asks in Arabic, brain still fuzzy with sleep.

Andy goes over what they just said to each other while Nicky roams inside his bag of maps to find the one she asked for, but when he’s opening it on top of all the others, Joe is shaking his head.

“There’s no need. If Mar del Plata is the land, then she never meant ‘yet never in Pain’. She meant ‘yet never in _Dolor_ ’. There’s a city north of Mar del Plata called _Dolores_. We went there so long ago I don’t even think that was its name, remember?” he asks Andy.

The woman’s eyes slowly widen, recollecting the event.

Nicky remembers it as well, only as a distant feeling more than a memory. All he remembers is feeling cold and frightened, even when he pressed as close as he could to Yusuf’s body.

“We found her,” Andy confirms with certainty.

“We did,” Joe agrees, smiling up at her. “We’re getting her back, Andy.”

  
  
  


▽

As sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, Nicolo knew that this rescue mission wouldn’t be easy. 

When they all pack their bags and leave for Argentina, they talk on the plane.

“She’s making us relive her hurt,” Joe states when they’re all sitting down and taking off, finally. There was silence before he spoke as they adjusted their seatbelts, but once the plane was off land and all were okay amongst the merch, they started exchanging looks and finally, Joe spoke. “What I don’t understand is why Nile,” he frowns.

“Because it can’t be me,” Andy answers. “And punishing you two would be too cruel not only to us but to what you two have and if there’s one thing Quynh respect, it was always that.”

“Which makes Nile the perfect answer…” he finishes her reasoning, sighing to himself. He wonders for a second if Booker was still around, if he’d be the one chosen by Quynh to suffer.

“I dreamt about her,” Joe tells them, shaking his head in confusion. “I thought I was just having the same Quynh dream again, but—that wasn’t it, was it? It was Nile,” he rasps out, bringing his hands up to his face to cover it. “We told her we’d keep her safe,” he finishes behind his hands.

Leaning forward and placing her hands on top of his kindly, Andy shakes her head. “We’re not failing, Joe,” she says, sharing a look with Nicky.

“She’s right, _amore_. We’re coming to get her, aren’t we?” he asks, hoping for confirmation.

Joe nods, rubbing his face before looking up at them again. He smiles sadly, thankful to have the support of his family. He places a kiss on the back of Andy’s hand and adjusts himself better to sit with his whole side pressing against Nicky’s, looking back and forth between the two of them.

“You’re right. We are. I’m sorry, I’m just—gosh, I hate this. I feel so bad.”

“We do too,” Andy agrees, then looks away. “It wasn’t Nile we failed… and it wasn’t Quynh either. We just—we failed ourselves, a few times, but not each other. We search and when we can… we don’t give up,” she says, taking a deep breath.

Nicky nods again, silently agreeing.

The trip to Argentina is short and not with too much turbulence, thank God. Andy and Joe found a contact that dealt with transactions and missions in South America and the person would lead them to the town of Dolores and from there, they’d continue alone.

There’s little to no conversation then. All of them are past feeling like they need to fill in the silence or that words are needed to communicate.

Nicky speaks with his actions. He talks by guiding them, making sure they are safe and always keeping their six. Nicky speaks through the motions, always attentive and offering an input whenever Andy asks something. Nicky is the reason why they leave at night to eat in a local place, claiming that accommodation is the best form of integration.

Yusuf speaks with his eyes.

Every time Andy makes small conversation, they glint with happiness. When Nicky offers teasing remarks and engages in conversation with the local folks while waiting for their food, his love is visible in the crinkle on the corner of his eyes.

Andy is a woman of few and direct words, but she _can_ talk.

She becomes the goddess she always was when she lures people in and charms the cook. Her true colors shine as she walks amongst strangers, gathering information without a single one of them noticing it. Andy speaks with her gentle and comforting touches on them whenever their eyes turn a little grim, mind going back to Nile.

Dinner is good and more importantly, it’s worth it.

Through conversations, they find the possible locations for ‘tourists’ to be in and between the lines, they find the location.

 _El Caverna del Pássaro_.

_And sore must be the storm that could abash the little Bird…_

Neither of them want to wait to carry on the mission.

As soon as they’re out of the tiny in the wall restaurant they found, they make their way to the two Jeeps they rented and left all their things and gear up, getting ready for any possible surprises.

Nicky is sure even before they leave that there’ll be one, if not many.

He is right, of course.

The cave is kept by an old and reclusive tribe of people who are highly superstitious and, worse, who was found by Quynh before them. There are many of them, scattered and distributed around the cliffs that keep the cave. All of them stand on strategic places and Nicky _knows_ the second his eyes set on them that they’re much smarter than most people they meet.

Andy puts all of his thoughts into one conclusive word which summarizes everything he’s thinking and feeling.

“ _Fuck_ ,” she hisses, hand closing tighter around her ax.

Joe, for his turn, is eyeing them through his binoculars with lips set in a thin line.

“They have a _Pajé_ , Andy, this isn’t a lost cause,” he offers, putting the binoculars back in his gear belt. “We’re gonna have to be smart about this, but there might be a chance of doing this _without_ the bloodshed.”

“We will need a backup plan, obviously,” Nicky mumbles, eyeing the entrance of the cave with his sniper. It’s nighttime, but the light of the Moon illuminates the beach and the cliffs perfectly, giving him a perfect view of the cave entrance at the far North.

He also can see almost every tribe member who is spread across the land from here. Nicky wonders how many more are there and for one second, he imagines a tribe member analyzing _him_ through lenses far away somewhere, with a shot ready to kill him, only waiting for the permission signal.

Although there _is_ a chance of them being able to talk things out, he can’t deny that the odds look awful and since they’re going to face a close and coordinated group of people who live in perfect synchrony, organizing plans to minimize their death toll is the ideal.

“Yeah, we will,” Andy agrees with a sigh.

She sits back down, hiding against the bushes and gestures with her fingers from them to come closer.

They give one last look around, checking for any signs of being seen, then leave their posts to join her and listen to the plan.

As usual, there are three perfectly outlined ones.

They don’t bother with too many of them because one, the plans only exist to make this the less hurtful experience possible and two, in this case specifically, they are in extreme hurry.

Neither of them missed the high tides and the fact that Nile, their newfound family, the bright sunshine of smiles and sassy replies is suffering this very moment, dying many deaths which don’t belong to her.

After all plans are traced and they give their nod of agreement, things happen at the same pace as they always do in missions.

Nicky knows the drill by now. It’s all the same.

Through repetition, some things become muscle and mind memory. What they do — their jobs and, most importantly, their _purpose_ — is a perfect example of that. Through years, things become intrinsic to a human brain. Decades of the same motion are different and your brain evolves, everything is reflex.

When you speak of centuries or, like in Andromache’s case, thousands of years, the mind dissociates in a certain way. Nicky almost watches things from a third point of view, he feels. It goes like this:

All his senses are tunneled down to three main tasks: keep Joe and Andy’s six, listen intently to everything around them and, finally, keep a steady breath and watchful eyes.

It sounds complicated and like a lot but, in reality, it’s pretty simple.

Emptying the mind to keep your attention in the _present_ is a nearly out-of-body experience, as ironic as it sounds.

Nicky glances every now and then to Joe and Andy, always surrounding everything. When the Pajé of the tribe meets Andromache in the middle of the beach, in the open wide area under everyone’s aim and, consequently, a place to call for a momentary truce, Nicky is a shadow.

Andy and Joe’s third eye.

He feels and nearly hears his own heart pounding, waiting for the single moment where things chance, the drop of a needle echoing from somewhere which changes the way of the winds and brings forth the whisper of intuition.

He waits, waits, and waits.

Andromache speaks with him and tells him the story, explaining how everyone has landed here, in a remote island close to Dolores, a place no one had access to for years. She talks and he talks back and for Nicky’s delight and surprise, there is no bloodshed.

Andy’s words are still made of silk.

When Pajé lifts his hand in a fist and then puts it down, Nicky _almost_ runs towards Nile.

It’s a close thing. He gives a couple of steps towards the cave, closer to Joe who lifts his own hand to touch Nicky’s forearm in a sign of happiness, but he waits until Andromache thanks the man profusely and meaningfully so he can leave.

As soon as the words “ _Una viajen mejor de vuelta para su casa, Andromache. Y buena suerte. Ella volverá a ti. El amor siempre prevalece_ ” are are of his mouth, Nicky nods along, feeling the relief floating through his body.

“Gracias, Pajé. Muchas gracias, no tienes idea de lo cuánto estamos agradecidos,” he answers, hearing it be echoed by Joe and then, they’re all moving.

They run towards the cave holding onto the things that cling to their body and when they get inside, they all scream for her.

“Nile?! Nile!” all of them scream in unison.

They all hear the gasp.

Nicky thanks God that they arrived in a moment where she’s still here with them and not lingering between the bridge they all know so well. Joe is quick with his knife when he finds her body tied to the rocks and then wrapped completely, impossiblitating her to have cut loose.

He releases Nile while muttering over and over that everything is okay.

“We’re here Nile, shhhh I’m cutting you off, it’s okay,” he says a couple of times, releasing the ropes as carefully as he can without hurting her.

Andy is inside the cave’s lake cradling the girl’s head and muttering, “It’s over, it’s over Nile” while Nicky examines the cave, clearing it of anything harmful or left behind. He knows she’s in the best hands at the moment and he wants to make sure nothing is left behind.

He finds only a recorder with a tape inside and nothing else. Nicky returns to them while Nile is gasping for breath and coughing roughly, sounding scratchy and hoarse.

“I’m sorry we took so long, Nile,” he says to her as he steps closer and she shakes her head, arms already tightly wrapped around Andy’s waist and head leaning against Joe’s touch.

“You guys came. You came and… it’s all that matters. You’re here,” she whispers, breathless and weak.

They all take their moment to wait until she’s better before they can leave.

That night, they all stay in a warm house close in Dolores, deep inside the countryside where no signal has reached, with barely any neighbors for miles at end.

It’s a good enough place, with plumbing, electricity and even phone signal. It’s warm and there are no leaks, nothing to be wished for. 

When they get inside, they all take turns hugging Nile.

It’s not even something spoken.

It happens because when they all put their bags on the floor and turn on the lights, before he does anything else, Joe asks her.

“Is it okay if I give you a hug?”

She stares at him for two seconds before cracking, dry sobs coming out of her. He watches as Joe wraps his arms around her comfortably and slowly, wrapping her in a hug warm and exactly like _home_. Nicky knows the hug. Andy does as well.

The two of them exchange a look over Nile and Joe’s shoulder and when he lets go of her after holding her face between his hands for a couple of seconds, Andy moves in right after.

“My turn,” she chuckles weakly, a smile half sad and half relieved on her face.

When Andy pulls Nile in, Nicky hears the whimper that the younger girl lets out, something fragile and sensitive. Andy has become the place where Nile can rest her worries and melt into nothingness. Where she can be strong, resilient and a newborn force of nature or simply just Nile. Just a young girl who is still experiencing many things for the first time.

Being held captive by revenge from an old inkling is not something most people go through in their entire lives.

Certainly not within the first thirty years.

Andy squeezes Nile strongly and comfortingly, whispering things in her ear that Nicky can’t hear and doesn’t try to. She only lets go when Nile nods and cleans her face against her own shoulders, sniffling a little.

“Thanks Andy,” Nile says, smiling a little easier. “Thank you,” she repeats, looking deep into Nile’s eyes.

“We’re meant to find each other,” Andy recites and leaning against the wall, Nicky smiles at them.

“Some people are meant to be that way,” Nile finishes. Ever since they found Nile and _purpose_ again, this has been something that Andy reminded them of frequently. 

“Always,” Nicky concludes, his own smile widening when both women turn to him with smiles. He raises both arms in an open gesture looking at Nile. “My turn?”

Nile giggles at that, an act that crinkles the corner of her eyes and makes her look every bit the 22 year old woman that she is.

She steps towards him and Nicky sees only for a moment that behind her Joe and now Andy are tending to the house, organizing everything like they always do.

When Nile falls in his embrace, he closes her eyes and lets her be there.

Nicky breathes in deeply, smelling the heavy scent of seaweed, sea salt and _beach_ that the girl is exuding, then exhales with a shaky breath, squeezing his arms tighter around her frame.

In his mind, there is nothing he could say that can erase the power and trauma of what the experience most likely was, but if there’s one thing he believes in, it’s the power of love and healing.

They found her because they didn’t want her to hurt, just like the first time.

As he hugs her, Nicky prays.

There has always been a prayer that made him feel as if love itself was being seeped out from one and passing onto the other, so he prays. _Ave, o Maria, piena di grazia, il Signore è con te. Tu sei benedetta fra le donne e benedetto è il frutto del tuo seno, Gesù. Santa Maria, Madre di Dio, prega per noi peccatori, adesso e nell’ora della nostra morte. Amen._

In his third prayer, he feels Nile relaxing like she had just fallen asleep.

“Thank you,” she whispers against his neck.

“ _Prego_ , _mia cara. Prego,_ ” he whispers again.

They untangle and smile at each other. Nicky looks up to see where the other two have gone and sees the smoke of an incense burning, so he concludes they’re about done. He looks back at Nile. “You should go shower and drink plenty of water. I’ll go prepare dinner with Joe, okay?”

She nods and grabs two bottles of water from their small shopping bags, then leaves to the corridor.

Nicky prepares dinner with Joe through small conversations and musings about the day. They quietly wonder about Quynh and the tape, about where to look for now.

Joe tells Nicky he worries too much, like always, and Nicky tells him he’s got plenty to worry about because he’s got plenty to lose, like always.

Like clockwork, their mouths meet in the kitchen. Joe’s hands resting in his hips is the feeling he associates with _kitchen_ , just like Joe’s mouth on his neck is what his brain translates into _bedroom_ and, when his hands are roaming all over his stomach and back, Nicky immediately feels the soft or heavy pressure of the shower water hitting against them.

Joe’s movements and words are the rooms and corridors of which his home is made.

When dinner is ready, the two of them wash up together between quick and stolen kisses and then quickly return to the table.

They all serve their plates in silence, the old TV in the living room playing a nice telenovela in an ambiance volume being more than enough for the moment.

It’s after the compliments to the chef that the conversation turns.

“She’s right, this is good,” Nile chuckles, shoving more food into her mouth. “Didn’t know when I’d taste good food again,” she comments with a bitter smile.

They all exchange looks on the top of their plates and it’s Andy who speaks first.

“Wanna know what was my first time like?” she asks with a devious smile, as if she’s talking about things much more pleasant than being killed over and over again.

Nile stops with a fork halfway to her mouth and, slowly, her expression changes. Her smile becomes more genuine. She chuckles, looking down at her food like she can’t believe where her life had come to, but looks up with brighter eyes.

“I don’t remember the context, exactly, or why it happened,” she starts.

“What the past leaves behind, right?” Nile asks.

“Right.” Andy looks up to the boys smiling. They recognize that statement as well.

Joe and Nicky share their own look and this time, it’s Nicky who winks.

“The only thing I remember… is falling into the well,” Andy says in the same way she loves telling all the stories. Slowly and deliberately, with pauses at the correct time, she elaborates the tale of how she first experienced the D Day. “I think someone had something against me or… it was a family feud? It might’ve been. Regardless, I was dropped at the bottom of a well and let me tell you… I do not like tunnel vision to this day,” she whispers in a conspiratorial tone, pointing her fork at Nile.

“I can fucking imagine. Please let’s… not stay in any port city for like, at least ten years,” Nile jokes, looking at everyone at the table.

They all laugh, Joe and Nicky agreeing.

“More than fair,” Joe says.

“I don’t even like the beach that much,” Nicky teases, making everyone laugh again.

“Yeah… the smell of the ocean is gonna be something nasty, but—it’s about the memories we form on top as well, you know?” she asks Nile, taking another bite of her food. “You’re gonna see the whole world, baby. Paris will never be the same city and yet, it’ll be the same bullshit every time. Some cities will always bring a bad taste in your mouth and others, the mere scent from far away as you approach in the car will be enough to make you laugh and smile the whole day.”

“Whenever you want and you’re ready, we’ll take you to a nice beach city somewhere in Italy and have a family vacation. An entire week when we _really_ deserve it. You might slowly change your mind about the sea then,” Nicky offers.

“What do you mean _when_ we deserve it?” Joe asks him in a fake offended tone. “We always deserve vacations! Do you know how many retirements the government is due to me? I shouldn’t have to work another day in my life,” he jokes, bringing more laughter from Nile and Andy.

“And yet, you want to,” Nicky teases back, head leaning instinctively towards Joe.

Joe narrows his eyes like he had been caught and leans too, smirking.

“You know me too well,” he says.

“What about you two?” Nile asks with a shrug. Like it’s nothing and they don’t _have_ to answer, but both know better.

Through empathy, a good dinner and comforting touches. That is the secret to good and fast healing, Nicky knows.

“Oh, you want to hear the full story?” Joe asks with a smile, taking a bite of his food with sass taking over his whole body. “You know, it’s been forever, but I think I still remember the taste of metal.”

“You are _so_ dramatic,” Nicky laughs.

On one side, it’s insane to think that now they laugh about the many times where they found Death through their own hands.

“I mean it!” Joe presses on, beaming more with the giggles he gets from the women. “I think, and correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure we kept score of who killed who first in those first years.”

Nile’s eyes widen and she swallows her food down. “I had forgotten! You two killed each other! Many times! Oh fuck, how _much_ is many times for you guys?”

“It was… a couple of years,” Nicky tells her, cocking his head to the side as he thinks about the time frame. “Yeah. About two years, on and off, losing and finding each other,” he tells, voice going distant and eyes automatically finding Yusuf’s.

“Wanting nothing more than to find the other once again whenever we strayed too far,” Yusuf adds, looking at him with the same intensity.

“Ugh, we’re having _dinner_. Can you two not?” Andy asks in fake annoyance, unable to hide her smirk.

“Oh, no no no. This is the night for the Yusuf and Nicolo tale. I wanna hear it, c’mon,” Nile presses, even gesturing with her hands in ‘come on’.

Nicky and Joe share a look and then, shrugging their shoulders in perfect unison, they start telling their own tale in synchrony, starting when the other stops from the exact point where they left off.

Nile listens intently, smiling and laughing just like Andy, who unlike her, was listening to this tale for probably the hundredth time.

Nicky and Yusuf talk and eat, smiling and laughing at death.

He sees it in Nile the comfort of connection being established. The comfort of knowing that despite how strange and otherworldly this feels— because it does, a very few select numbers get to know _what_ they’re feeling in this moment—, she isn’t alone.

She listens and looks around, frowning for a few split second as she eyes the Third Eye pendant that Joe brings with him to every place they go that’s hung above the threshold between the kitchen and the living room. She eyes the item while something new blooms inside of her.

Nicky feels the squeeze of Joe’s hand in his knees and watches the peace and tranquility in Andy’s features as she listens to Nile replying, coming back to reality with a _real_ smile. Nicky prays that whatever feeling she caught on had a taste of home in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo, what did you guys think?! are you enjoying it where the story is going? what about the characters? talk to me :D
> 
> [twitter ♡](https://twitter.com/majestaekim) | [tumblr ♡](https://schatzlehnsherr.tumblr.com/)


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